5 Minute Hair Routines for Monday Morning Madness!

Hello lovelies!

Well, it’s that time of the week again, y’know, our favourite day!

Monday is always a funny one for me because you would think that with all the time you have over the weekend to sort your life out for the following week that you might actually end up waking up on time, having done plentiful amounts of washing and ironing over the weekend.  Yeahhhh…

So I woke up this morning with about 35 minutes before I had to be out that front door… never a fun time when you’ve been out literally all weekend and haven’t even looked at the washing machine, right?

I managed to scrape out some old dress from the back and beyond of my wardrobe… problem one sorted.  On to problem two; my hair.  Oh my god, my hair.  I’m not going to lie to you, my hair is curly.  When tamed in the right way it can look nice.  When left to it’s own devices it can look like Crusty the Clown (what ya gonna do?)  Mostly, if I have the time I will straighten that bad boy until the cows come home to save everyone some trauma.  Today wasn’t that day.

So… what I wanted to just skim over today is Monday morning hair.  I will talk about two routines for when you literally have 5 minutes (or less) to sort that mess out.  Routine one will be what us curly girls can do and routine two will be what those of you with straight hair can do.  Read: the straight version can also be me if I’ve straightened it the night before and I wake up with it stuck to my head.

The reveal.  You’re standing in front of the mirror, eyes to the floor.  You know when you lift your head it’s not gonna be great but you know it’s a necessary evil.  You look up.  OH HELL NO.  It’s so far from great it’s unreal.  There’s two things you can do at this point… you can admit defeat and tie that nest up in a bun on top of your head and just wait for the frizz to appear around your forehead (so attractive), OR, you can use those 5 minutes you’ve got to man up and deal with it.  I’m gonna tell you now, I’ve admitted defeat more often than not but that’s not the way!

Routine One:

Curly Hair

What you will need:

  • Straightener
  • Hair clip (one of those big claw ones to scrape that s*** up)
  • Serum
  • Leave in conditioner

What you won’t need:

  • Brush/comb (believe me)

What to do:

Firstly you’re going to split that hair into 3.  Take two thirds of your hair up (like a half up, half down scenario) and clip it out of the way. (15 seconds)

Take your curling iron/straighteners.  I find whenever I’ve slept on my curly hair, some bits go flat, especially at the bottom.  What you want to do now is find those flat bits that make your hair look so atrocious and curl away.  (1 minute)

After you’ve curled all those bits and bobs on the bottom third, condition it up.  Take a pea-sized amount, rub it between your hands until it’s body temperature and run that through every bit of your hair. (30 seconds)

Take down another third, repeat steps above. (1  minute, 45 seconds)

Take down final third, repeat steps above. (1 minute 45 seconds)

Finally, take that serum and, if your hair is as frizzy as mine is, take maybe two pumps of that and distribute all over your hair.

If your hair isn’t looking half-decent by now, then I don’t do refunds.

Total time: 5 minutes, 15 seconds.  (Soz about the 15 seconds)

Routine Two:

Straight Hair

I would definitely see this as the lesser of two evils!  However, still evil.  The scenario at this stage is that you’ve dragged your butt out of bed, and your hair is stuck to your head in some nasty, greasy eugh way.  Maybe you should have washed it last night, but you got busy chilling so you didn’t.  (Happens to me regularly).

What you will need:

  • Brush/comb (need that this time, trust me)
  • Straightener
  • Dry shampoo

For speed purposes, you don’t need to split your hair.  What you’re going to do instead is take your brush/comb (paddle brush is honestly the best one to use) and simultaneously, using the brush and the straightener, work that down the lengths of your hair from the root to the tip, like you’re double brushing it.  To break that down for you, take the brush first and brush down the hair and literally 1-2 inches behind it, swipe the straightener down.

Keep doing this until your hair looks straight.  Read: looks straight.  Every single strand of hair doesn’t need to be poker straight.  If you are here to learn how to straighten your hair to the maximum, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Once that step is done, take that dry shampoo and, lifting 2-3 inch sections, spray it everywhere.  Like… everywhere.  You need that in your life asap.  After you’ve emptied the can, rub it in just as if you were shampooing and then brush it out.  That’s it. The end.  (Seriously though, don’t put that much dry shampoo in your hair, can get a bit expensive and you will look like a Grandma).

Total time: 5 minutes (if that)

That’s it guys.  My 2 quick morning routines for when you’ve snoozed that alarm hardcore.

P.S. Of course, before using any heated styling tools, you will protect your hair with heat defence spray or whatever blah blah 🙂



Hey guys!

Where do I start?

After deliberating about making a blog for the last 4 years and having never found the time to actually just sit down and do it, I finally did it tonight.

You see, my ‘finding time’ fits somewhere between laying on the sofa doing literally nothing, working and sleeping.  You would think over the last 4 years I might have found something more productive to do ha!

So now I’m a bit late jumping on the old bandwagon of make up and beauty blogging and I’m not promising I’m going to show you anything you probably haven’t already seen a million times, I’m not even promising that it might be interesting(!) but what I would like to think I’m offering is a different angle, with hopefully a bit of humour and fun along the way.  It’s dissapointing I took so long really… all the amazing, unique, quirky names for a blog I had come up with over the years are taken! So upsetting.

So guys, I’m definitely no make up artist.  I can safely say, aside from Halloween and one random day I decided to wear black lipstick (why?) I hardly ever wear anything crazy on my face.  Yes I go completely overboard with foundations and concealers and powders, but what I’m hoping I can share with you is how to walk out of the house thinking “yeah, do you know what, I look bloody decent today!”  Not “I feel a little uncomfortable wearing this make up because I don’t feel like myself” (try wearing black lipstick in public, you’ll never have that feeling stronger, trust me)!

Who am I?

To give you a bit of a back story about me, I started wearing a full face of make up when I was about 11.  Yes, 11.  It was horrendous.  I’m talking full coverage foundation, blue eyeshadows, black eyeliner and bright pink blusher all topped off with the gloopiest lip gloss you have ever seen.  The worst part is, I thought I looked good!  My Mum kinda went a bit nuts whenever she see me wearing it… “what impression do you think you’re giving out…” etc.  The thing was, I didn’t really know what she was talking about.  I certainly didn’t slap all that make up on my face to make anyone else happy!  I loved it… I loved sitting in front of that mirror and putting all these products on my face; to me, my face was a canvas and I was making it look pretty and colourful!  I still feel like that.  I get out of the shower in the morning, get dressed and sit in front of that mirror.  I look at my face for a long time deciding what I’m going to do today to make me feel good; it’s a satisfying experience for me and to be honest, the only 15 minutes of actual peace I have in my day where I get to 100% truly focus on myself.  I know there may be some ladies (or gents!) out there who find the process of make up application a laborious, unfortunate task that needs to be done.  I just wanna share that it doesn’t have to be like that.

I hope you enjoy this blog as much as I’m sure I will enjoy creating it.  If you have anything you want to ask me, please don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Maria xo